How to set goals?

Manage yourself

Self Observation

Self observation is a process of gazing at the self without judgement, leaving thoughts of disapproval and labels of good and bad at the door and watching the full self, in its most miniscule movements and grandest feelings, with honest awareness.

Self-observation can take many different forms, including journaling, mindfulness practices, and self-reflection exercises. It can be done in solitude, or with the help of a coach or therapist. The key is to approach self-observation with an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow.

Self Regulation

Self-regulation is the ability to understand and manage your behaviour and your reactions to feelings and things happening around you. It includes being able to: regulate reactions to strong emotions like frustration, excitement, anger and embarrassment. calm down after something exciting or upsetting. focus on a task.

It involves monitoring and adjusting one's actions and responses to fit delaying gratification in pursuit of long-term goals, like temporarily quitting masturbation

Self-regulation can be developed and improved through various techniques and practices, one of which is goal-setting. You can learn to recognize triggers and patterns that lead to impulsive or toxic responses, and behave in a more constructive way.

Self Control

is all about inhibiting impulses and emotions. Self-control is not about perfection or total restraint, but rather about finding a balance between self-discipline and self-care, and making choices that align with one's values and priorities. Source: it was revealed to me in a dream.

While these may sound like three ways of saying the same thing, there are differences between them that matter. Self-control is all about inhibiting impulses and emotions; self-regulation focuses on reducing both the intensity and frequency of those impulses. Self observation is just a first step.

Set SMART goals

Specific

Goals should be specific. A specific goal is clear and well-defined. It should answer the questions of who, what, where, when, and why. For example, "I want to climb 8a in six months" is a specific goal.

Measurable

Goals should be measurable. A measurable goal has clear criteria for success. Smart goals should be, so you can track your progress and celebrate when you've achieved it. For example, "I want to lose 10 pounds in three months" is a measurable goal. "I want to be the best dad ever" is not a measurable goal.

Attainable

Goals should be attainable. An achievable goal is one that you have the skills, resources, and support to accomplish. It should be challenging but realistic. For example, "I want to climb 8a in six months" may be achievable if you have access to climbing wall, books, internet, and apps.

Relevant

Goals should be relevant. A relevant goal is aligned with your values and priorities. It should be something that matters to you and will have a positive impact on your life. For example, "I want to save enough money for a down payment on a house in two years" is relevant if homeownership is important to you.

Time based

Goals should be completed in a regulated time frame. A time-bound goal has a specific deadline for completion. It creates a sense of urgency and motivates you to take action. For example, "I want to publish my novel about climbing 8a in one year" is time-bound.

Identify obstacles

You need to be realistic to yourself. Identify obstacles in advance and visualise how you plan to lessen their effect, if they happen.

They won't always, but knowing about them in advance will make you feel more confident. There are obstacles that you know will happen, and those that you have no control over. Don't worry about those. Be aware of your actions when you face these obstacles and stay focused on your goal, if you can.

Examples of obstacles under your control

• Amount of hours in a day.
• Personal preferences and impulsive actions (debatable).

Examples of obstacles not under your control

• Car crash (debatable).
• Weather
• Family (debatable).